I have been living with endometriosis for 10 years and been diagnosed for over 7. Things got very difficult for me after I found out I had this disease. The pain first started right after I had my son. Because of the pain, I developed depression and anxiety. I also suffer from anorexia which does not help my endometriosis. I get hungry, but nothing is appetizing. Sometimes I am in so much pain, I am physically unable to stand and make food. Other times I’m so bloated I feel like if I eat, I might explode.
It can be embarrassing being out in public with a bloated belly and suddenly get a cramp or a stabbing pain anywhere else. All I can do is stop what I’m doing and kneel over in pain. This fear and embarrassment makes me never want to leave the house.
My son worries about me and it is so hard to explain to him what’s going on because he’s a boy. When I think that I may never be able to give him a brother or sister or have another child in general, it breaks my heart into pieces. The one thing I’m good at, the only thing I wanted in life, has been taken away by this disease. It makes relationships hard, especially when the man wants kids and you may not be able to provide them.
I fight this disease the best I can. I don’t take naps during the day when I’m tired and do my housework through the pain. It just needs to be done. I wonder how much longer can I keep going like this. I feel like it’s not fair. I’m weak but I’m strong at the same time. I’m weak because this disease makes me feel physically weak, but I am strong because mentally I get through.